3 Things I’d Tell My Younger Teenage Self
Hey, I’m Taylor! A lifestyle and portrait photographer based in Edmonton, Alberta.
Along with photography, I love to reflect, write, connect, and talk about deep life stuff. You’ll find some of that, here.
“the closer I get to 30, and to hopefully becoming a mother, the more time I’m spending thinking deeply about the child i’ll raise and in turn, thinking of my own inner child, too.”
I’m turning 30 this year.
I’ll admit, it came up a bit quick. I mean, a pandemic stole a couple years away from us all, so I guess it makes sense.
30 means three whole decades on this planet. That’s pretty cool if you ask me!
I’ll save the whole “turning 30” thoughts for another blog post in the future.
But 30 has me thinking about when I was 15.
And 20.
And 25, for that matter.
(Horrible quality photo of baby Tay in her teens for reference.)
I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me to connect with my younger self at times.
I feel as though I’ve blocked out huge chunks of high school and middle school in some respects.
Certain situations, reactions, and heartaches, of course, I’ll never be able to forget - an unfortunate truth.
15-25 felt like a trip.
Still does, kinda.
But the closer I get to 30, and to (hopefully) becoming a mother, the more time i’m spending thinking deeply about the child i’ll raise, and in turn, thinking of my own inner child, too.
I would love to be able to go back in time, to meet my younger teenage self, and tell her a few things.
Here’s 3 things I’d tell my younger teenage self if I could…
1. You will learn to love your body.
One day, you’ll be able to look at yourself in the mirror and feel at home in your body. Like it really does belong to you.
You’ll stop doing 100 sit ups a day, and be okay with the fact that your belly isn’t perfectly flat. Yes, really. In fact, you grow to love it.
The chest that never felt like it belonged on your body? You’ll be given resources and an opportunity to change that, and the timing of the Universe will be perfectly aligned for it. Yes it will be scary, but you’ll make it through.
Your body will expand, and settle in, and find it’s natural happy place. No that’s not a size 4. Oh, and you’re gonna get a butt, too!! You won’t exercise intensely near as much, but that’s ok. You will find movement practices that feel good, intentional, and fun.
Your body will become a safe space, instead of your enemy. You will learn to feel things within it, more deeply than you could’ve imagined.
I know all this is hard to believe. The magazines and diet culture don’t make it seem possible. One day, big boobs and big hips are actually going to be “in”.
You don’t understand it yet, but the media prescribes us an image to make us feel imperfect, and the second we get accustomed to it, the image changes.
Your body will become so much more to you than what it looks like from the outside.
2. Allow yourself to explore and expand the rigid idea you have of what you’re “good” at, and who you are.
You don’t need to define yourself by one word, one image of success, or one archetype.
You don’t have to exchange your creativity for athleticism or sport.
You don’t have to want to make it all the way to the top, just because everyone else seems to want that.
You can exist and thrive in many different arenas.
Oh, and you don’t have to be so afraid of exploring your queerness and bisexuality.
The world is going to change. You’re going to grow up, and in just a few years you’ll see so much more representation, everywhere. Your assumptions will be dismantled, and you’ll feel sad for that younger version of yourself.
Start dismantling those assumptions now, instead.
3. You can say “no”.
Please read this again. It applies to many areas. But mostly this:
You do not owe anyone your body.
You are always in your power.
You can always stop and walk away.
Your body will never convince someone to stay, to love you, to like you, even.
Saying yes to what feels like a no will only take you further away from yourself.
You are your own best friend, your own partner in life, forever. The #1 person you need to be able to trust, advocate for, and protect, is you.
Find the courage to say no when you want to. Not yes because you think it’s already gone too far, or because money was spent, time given, or words spoken.
Value yourself and your safety, above all other assumptions and expectations, always.
As always,
thank you for reading and being here.
Interested in booking a shoot with me? Head over here and fill out my contact form and we can get the process started!
What do you think? What would you tell your teenage self if you could? Let me know in the comment section below.
Taylor Ellenne is a Family, Portrait and Branding Photographer based in Edmonton, Alberta.
She loves capturing humans at all stages of life - from maternity, to childhood chaos, to 35th anniversaries, 80th birthdays, and beyond!
