**“How am I turning 30 this year and only *just starting* to learn how good it feels to say no?”**

Last week, I did something really hard…

A mere year ago, I truly could’ve never imagined I’d be needing to do this, or have the guts to go through with it.

I turned down a potential wedding photography client for the first time.

Now I know you’re wondering, Taylor…why in the HECK would you turn down a client? Don’t you want to be booked?

And obviously, the answer to the latter is yes, of course I want to be booked!

But the answer to that first question, takes a bit more of an explanation to do it justice.

As I explained on my Instagram post, it’s extremely important to me to work with people that know, and like, my work.

I know, that seems a bit like a given…like shouldn’t people who are investing in having their photos taken want to make sure they actually like the kind of images your provide?

Yes sure…but for many life is busy. The days are flying by, the kids have practices, and the event is coming up; it’s stressing you out that you don’t have a photographer, along with a million other things on your to-do list.

I get that.

All my inquiries begin with a quick questionnaire. For a wedding inquiry, there are a few more.

Every questionnaire I send out always includes one important question:

“What do you like about my images?”

This question helps me gauge whether I am the right person for the client, if I can deliver what they’re looking for, and if my style and creative approach resonates with them.

I’ve never had anyone not provide an answer this question

…until last week, that is.

Well, actually that’s not entirely true, they did give an answer, but this is what it read:

”I’d have to go back to the website and check.”

When I read that, honestly… my heart sank a bit.

Yes, I am a Lifestyle Photographer in Edmonton, and this is a business…

But it’s also a creative and artistic offering, it’s also a human connection experience, it’s also a service that provides you with a product that will stay with you forever.

This client being unable to take the time to look at my images, imagine themselves in them, or let me know what they liked about them generally, told me 2 things:

They are only interested in me for my low pricing (I’m offering affordable rates to introduce weddings into my services).
I will leave this experience feeling disappointed, and undervalued.

In the past, I wouldn’t have thought twice. I’d accept the inquiry and tell myself:

“oh they’ll love their images and me once they know me and see them!”

But that’s actually done me wrong in the past… and left me feeling depleted, uninspired, and questioning myself and my own worth.

Not fun.

So this time around, I decided to introduce some boundaries, and to stand tall in my sense of self worth.

Politely, I informed this potential wedding photography client, that I would not be able to offer my services for their wedding day.

I informed them of the importance of working with people who know and like my work, and sincerely wished them all the best on their big day.

As I went to hit the “send” button, I paused.

Was this really the right thing to do? I could make money off of this booking…money that I could really use… and maybe it would turn out okay.

But my gut told me something different…

In order to have space, time, and energy for the things and people that feel like yes, I’m gonna have to start saying no to things that don’t.

Holding my breath…I hit send. I couldn’t believe I just did that!

I sat there, refreshing the page. “Yup, it’s sent. Okay.”

And then I waited…

For some reason I honestly felt like there was gonna be backlash, like I was gonna get in trouble or something.

Well guess what? I didn’t.

The client actually never responded. And perhaps that’s exactly my sign that I did the right thing.

See…

I didn’t have regret.

I didn’t say yes to something that felt like a “no”.

I didn’t overexert myself to prove my worth.

But I did:

Feel good about myself.

Feel strong in my boundaries.

Feel affirmed in my intuition.

Like okay, wait…

How am I turning 30 this year and only just starting to learn how good it feels to say no?

It’s hard, and quite frankly SCARY, to say no.

I don’t want to disappoint people, I want to be liked, and I want people to be happy.

But in the past, this desire to be liked, to be seen as chill, and easy-going, has left me with some unpleasant feelings about myself, and others.

It takes some serious introspection, and a good chunk of time (for me at least), to truly assess if something feels “right”, simply because my go-to attitude is always “sure, why not!?”

So - I’m practicing.

At 30, and probably still at 40 - I’ll be practicing this.

Saying no, and considering what I truly want, desire, and deserve.

Observing where and when I feel energized, appreciated, heard and valued.

I hope it gets easier.

And if you’re trying to do learn how to do the same, I encourage you to keep practicing too.

Take the extra minute, and consider how it would feel to put yourself and your own heart first.

I don’t think you’ll regret it, either.